Carolyn Hax: we don’t desire to be my father’s that is biological dirty secret Adjusted from a current discussion that is online.
During the ripe senior years of 45, I am both excited and thrilled to have discovered my biological daddy through DNA evaluation. He abandoned my mom and me personally briefly once I was created therefore I do not have illusions about the past. But I would like to get acquainted with him and my half-sister. He has got provided their medical background I really appreciate with me, which.
Other than my mom, everybody else within my household, even my adoptive dad, is very supportive of me personally developing a relationship she doesn’t want to stand in my way with him, and even my mom says. My bio-father and we email daily and share tales of our everyday lives. He could be apologetic in what he did, reassuring I found him, etc that he is happy.
My concern that is only is he does not want to inform their spouse about my existence. They have been in both their mid-60s plus in a healthy body and may live many others years — long sufficient to see my kids have actually kiddies. I do not be prepared to be straight away (or ever) invited in to the fold of these family members. I do not wish or require cash from them.
I wish to fundamentally fulfill my bio-father and then he states he wishes that, too, but we will not be described as a dirty small key. The response with“this material. from him about their wife and child is often which he does not wish to bother them” That feels as though a dismissal, like I’m perhaps not good sufficient become provided. […]